


Gentle

by vanishingbyler



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Panic Attacks, Trans Ricky Bowen (HSM: The Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:09:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21881554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanishingbyler/pseuds/vanishingbyler
Summary: Let me take your shaking hands 'til the trembling slowsRicky doesn't sleep well these days. Red knows how to be there for him.
Relationships: Big Red/Ricky Bowen (HSM: The Series)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 136





	Gentle

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first hsmtmts fic so please be gentle (haha references innit)
> 
> this is based off the song 'gentle' by havelin,, it's not properly released until 10th january but you should definitely listen to his music and support the song when it comes out
> 
> this can be read as best friends fluff or as romantic, it's entirely up to you. i wrote it with romantic redky in mind but that's just who i am
> 
> red calls ricky 'key' for short bc he's cute like that,,, allow it
> 
> also: ricky is trans in this. it's not plot relevant but it really do just b like that
> 
> this is unedited because it's 4:30am and we die like men !

Red’s phone wakes him a little after 3. The ringtone is familiar - a song by the Kinks,  _ Waterloo Sunset,  _ Ricky’s favourite. 

“H’llo?”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you up!”

Ricky’s voice is cracking, drowned slightly by high winds and the rattling of what sounds like wheels across tarmac. Red sits bolt upright and clears his throat before responding.

“It’s okay, Key. Where are you?”

A sniffle. “Oak Avenue. I had to get out.”

“Did something happen?” Half a beat, not even waiting for a response. “Come over.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. C’mon, I’ll unlock the door.”

“I shouldn’t have called.”

“ _ Ricky.” _

This isn’t entirely unusual. 3am is a new one, but Ricky almost always comes straight to Red when anything goes wrong. It’s worse lately.

Ricky is a good guy, with a good heart and a good head on his shoulders. In the nearly 12 years they’ve been friends, he’s always been a beacon of light. As they’ve got older, though, Ricky’s life has got a whole lot harder.

“Where are you now?”

“Y-your street. Turning up now.”

“I’m by the door.” Red falters for a second. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

The call clicks off as Ricky rolls up the drive, hopping off his board and propelling straight forward into a hug that almost bowls Red over.

At first he’s quiet, but the longer the hug lasts the more ragged Ricky’s breathing becomes. He chokes on his own breaths, starting to shake and gasp for air.

“Ricky… Key, c’mon. Let’s get you inside.” Red pulls away from the hug to guide his friend indoors, locking the door behind them. When they reach the basement, Red flops onto the bed and takes Ricky’s trembling hand between his, pulling him down to sit beside Red.

Ricky’s breathing is still all over the place, and his eyes are clenched shut in a futile attempt to stop tears from spilling. He’s tense, shaking uncontrollably and gasping for air that never quite comes.

Panic attack. Not the first, but definitely one of the worst Red has had to bear witness to. Assessing the situation, he lets go of Ricky’s hands only to pull his whole body into a hug. Every inch of their bodies are pressed together, Red’s own calm stillness acting to slow the way Ricky trembles.

It takes a few minutes for Ricky to calm down, but when he finally looks up at Red it feels like the universe has stopped. His big brown doe eyes sparkle with a sheen of tears, betraying every emotion swirling around inside his head. Red can read his best friend like a book - can read the fear, stress, frustration that’s plagued him for too long.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Ricky is quiet, his voice still cracking.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Ricky shifts from the hug, sitting up straight and re-taking Red’s hand. Red politely pretends not to notice how Ricky is still shaking ever-so-slightly.

“This week’s just been… long. And I can’t sleep.”

“So you thought skating around the city at 2am was the move?”

“I wanted to do  _ something.  _ I’m just really on edge.”

“I know.”

“I feel like I’ve been having a nervous breakdown for  _ days. _ ”

“I know. I noticed.”

Ricky casts his gaze down. Red can tell he’s fighting the urge to apologise yet again.

“It’s okay, Key. You’re allowed to have a bad time.”

“I know… I just feel like the older I get, the harder it is to be me. Everything used to be fine, but now it’s just…”

He pulls away, but Red reaches back over to ruffle his hair.

This is a routine of theirs. Red isn’t unused to holding Ricky close through panic attacks, or keeping hold of his hands until they stop shaking. It’s all part of being a best friend -  _ friend,  _ he thinks, with only a hint of bitterness - loving each other through the rough times as much as the golden ones, being gentle with one another. If Ricky said the word, Red’s sure he’d up and leave the city without a second thought just to get them away from all the bullshit. It would be worth it to see the smile on Ricky’s face. 

“It’s dumb—“

“It’s not dumb.”

“It is. I feel like I’m made of glass.”

“Glass is awesome.”

Ricky chuckles wetly. “Not when it’s a person.”

“Well, I think you’re pretty awesome.”

The two of them go quiet, gazes locked.

There’s a certain type of tension in the room, almost palpable. Though, in many ways, it’s a good thing that neither of them are weighed down by masculinity, it doesn’t half make things complicated. With most guys, cuddles and regular statements of  _ ‘I love you’  _ would mean something romantic. The way they act with one another is so far detached from how typically manly 16 year olds are, but for them it’s their normal. They’ve always been soft, emotional and engaged. Red has always known how to be gentle with Ricky’s fragile heart on his worst days. He wishes there was something that would set them aside, something that could confirm to Red if they were friends or something more. Either way, he’s lucky to have Ricky in his life, but the clarity would be nice. It’s not something he can straight up ask - especially not with Ricky in the state he’s been in these last few months.

“I’m gonna go make some coffee. You can grab some pyjamas from the top drawer, I’ll knock before I come back down.”

“Thanks.”

“And make sure you take your binder off.” He’s stern, but affectionate enough that Ricky doesn’t look like he feels attacked. “If you look in the pile of my brother’s stuff there’s a college hoodie, you can wear that if it makes you feel more comfortable. It’s huge.”

Ricky offers a weak smile of thanks as Red turns to the stairs.

There’s only a few minutes between him leaving the basement and returning with two steaming mugs of coffee, but the change in Ricky is noticeable. His voice sounds strong and clear when he calls Red back down. and he’s standing somewhat tall (save for his ever-present slouch, but at least he isn’t curled into a ball of tension). The signature Bowen smile is back on his face.

They sit cross legged beside each other on the bed, warming their hands on the cups.

“Was coffee a good idea this late?”

Red shrugs. “Decaf. As if I’d give you caffeine ten minutes after a panic attack.”

“Rude.” Ricky says, while rolling his eyes. “Decaf has no rights.”

"Neither does your little anxiety-fuelled hummingbird heart."

"... Fair."

They chat about nothing much as they drink their coffee, only really talking to fill the void of silence.

Ricky's demeanour softens further the more comfortable he becomes, and by the time the clock rolls round to 4 he seems positively relaxed. He sets his empty mug aside and pulls the sleeves of the ridiculous 3XL hoodie over his hands, curling into a ball on his side. Red lies down a few moments later, and they stare into each other's eyes for a few moments before he thinks to turn off the lamp.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

Ricky smiles sweetly as he reaches over to entwine their hands, and Red's heart skips a beat.

"For being gentle with me."

**Author's Note:**

> hope this didn't suck !!
> 
> please leave feedback if u can because i kinda love hsmtmts n i wanna know if it's worth writing more
> 
> if u have any requests or just wanna talk about the show i'm on twitter @skateratrickys or tumblr @autisticrickybowen


End file.
